If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. - Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
- Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat! - Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? - Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. - Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback. - Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. - Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereot… - Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereot…
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer… - Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer…
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look. - Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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