I never saw a purple cow; I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one.

- Gelett Burgess

Her heart is older than her head; yea, her emotion is the mother of her reason

- Gelett Burgess

When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.

- Gelett Burgess

Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.

- Gelett Burgess

A woman findeth in her last lover much of her first love; but a man seeth his next-to-the-last love, alway.

- Gelett Burgess

If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

- Gelett Burgess

Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap - even men who hate baths.

- Gelett Burgess

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.

- Gelett Burgess

Love endeth like the chianti flask, its drops are bitter.

- Gelett Burgess