If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for b…

- Carlos Mencia

Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

- Carlos Mencia

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

- Carlos Mencia

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

- Carlos Mencia

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilario…

- Carlos Mencia

America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

- Carlos Mencia

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

- Carlos Mencia

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called …

- Carlos Mencia

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

- Carlos Mencia