Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appea… - W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appea…
- W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get. - W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted. - W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. - W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C. - W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure. - W. C. Fields
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. - W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. - W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places. - W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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