never-wifein-fact-old-lady-walks-flat-shell-im-chick-downstairs-sign-around

Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.

Lenny Bruce
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Lenny Bruce's Popular Quotes

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

- Lenny Bruce

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.

- Lenny Bruce

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

- Lenny Bruce

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

- Lenny Bruce

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

- Lenny Bruce

I want to perform an unnatural act.

- Lenny Bruce

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.

- Lenny Bruce

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.

- Lenny Bruce

Communism is just one big telephone company.

- Lenny Bruce
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