She hated being a nobody and like all children, adopted or not, I have had to live out some of her unlived life. We do that for our parents - we don't really have any choice.
Interpretation
The quote expresses the impact of a parent's unresolved desires on their children, suggesting that we often live out the dreams of our parents.
In this quote, Jeanette Winterson reflects on the burden of parental expectations and the unfulfilled aspirations that they project onto their children. She highlights a deep connection between parents and children, where the children's lives are often influenced by the desires and regrets of their parents. This relationship creates a complex dynamic, where children may feel compelled to fulfill their parents' dreams, sometimes at the cost of their own identity and aspirations.
In practice
During a family gathering, you might share this quote when discussing how family legacies influence individual paths.
What is remembered is not a deed in stone but a metaphor. Meta = above. Pheren = to carry. That which is carried above the literalness of life. A way of thinking that avoids the problems of gravity. The word won't let me down. The single word that can release me from all that unuttered weight.
Reading things that are relevant to the facts of your life is of limited value. The facts are, after all, only the facts, and the yearning passionate part of you will not be met there. That is why reading ourselves as a fiction as well as fact is so liberating. The wider we read the freer we become.
I have a list of titles that I leave at the [library] desk, because they are bound to be written some day, and it's best to be ahead of the queue.
Woolf wanted to say dangerous things in Orlando but she did not want to say them in the missionary position.
In that house, you will find my heart. You must break in, Henri, and get it back for me.' Was she mad? We had been talking figuratively. Her heart was in her body like mine. I tried to explain this to her, but she took my hand and put it against her chest. Feel for yourself.
History is a string full of knots, the best you can do is admire it, and maybe tie it up a bit more. History is a hammock for swinging and a game for playing.
People have to understand how important it is for kids to be nurtured by their mom and dad and get the great role modeling when they are young.
My father cared about the world he lived in, and so he admitted his confusion about his place in America because he didn't want me to make the same mistake in my life.
By giving children lots of affection, you can help fill them with love and acceptance of themselves. Then that's what they will have to give away.
In my 50s I'll be dancing at my children's weddings.
In my case, I was representing my family name, honor, legacy... I did not see it as a sport requiring winning or losing a game. For me, it was honor, tradition.
It is the logic of consumerism that undermines the values of loyalty and permanence and promotes a different set of values that is destructive of family life.
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