The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots. - Bob Hope
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
- Bob Hope
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease. - Bob Hope
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them. - Bob Hope
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
I have too much money invested in sweaters. - Bob Hope
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. - Bob Hope
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. - Bob Hope
We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. - Bob Hope
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens. - Bob Hope
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing. - Bob Hope
It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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