One of your first jobs, as you write for money, will be to get rid of your vocabulary.

- Jack Woodford

Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl.

- Jack Woodford

Characterization is an accident that flows out of action and dialogue.

- Jack Woodford

Money talks. And writes. And publishes. And reviews. But it can't read.

- Jack Woodford

Few human beings are proof against the implied flattery of rapt attention.

- Jack Woodford