One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.
I still feel thirty, except when I try to run. - Bob Newhart
I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.
- Bob Newhart
Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame. - Bob Newhart
Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.
It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by som… - Bob Newhart
It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by som…
The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour. - Bob Newhart
The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.
People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less … - Bob Newhart
People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less …
A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian. - Bob Newhart
A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian.
I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't … - Bob Newhart
I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't …
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ. - Bob Newhart
Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ.
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