I was playing organ at a silent movie house at Harlem and they'd be showing some death scene on the screen. Likely as not, I'd grab a bottle and star…

- Fats Waller

You could be my son. You even look like me a little bit... Say, who's your mother?

- Fats Waller

So easy, when you know how.

- Fats Waller

If you don't know what it is, don't mess with it.

- Fats Waller

Jazz isn't what you do; it's how you do it.

- Fats Waller

Grab your pig's feet, bread, and gin, there's plenty in the kitchen. I wonder what the poor people are eating tonight?

- Fats Waller

One never knows, do one?

- Fats Waller

This is so nice, it must be illegal.

- Fats Waller