There's only one thing that separates us from animals: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

- Jeff Stilson

Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.

- Jeff Stilson

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.That may be. But I t…

- Jeff Stilson

I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God,…

- Jeff Stilson

I'm not married. I hope to be someday so I can stop exercising.

- Jeff Stilson

Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who has the hearing aid.

- Jeff Stilson