Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor.

- Charles Willeford

Outside of taking care of a man’s needs, women don’t get much pleasure out of life, anyways.

- Charles Willeford

I'm not going to ruin my movie because of some stupid ruling that it has to be ninety minutes long. That's just like adding three more plates to the …

- Charles Willeford

I can't see any point to hanging around a Burger King all day, no matter how much money you make. .... I'll tell you why. Your life would depend on t…

- Charles Willeford

My work is one long triumph over my limitations.

- Charles Willeford

Nothing human surprises me.

- Charles Willeford