An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now. - Jo Brand
I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.
- Jo Brand
I have two brothers and we basically spent our lives playing in the woods, falling in ponds, getting chased by wasps and riding donkeys that we shoul… - Jo Brand
I have two brothers and we basically spent our lives playing in the woods, falling in ponds, getting chased by wasps and riding donkeys that we shoul…
You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please. - Jo Brand
You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please.
When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners - Jo Brand
When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners
Men are fantastic - as a concept. - Jo Brand
Men are fantastic - as a concept.
I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person. - Jo Brand
I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking. - Jo Brand
My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife. - Jo Brand
The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was sti… - Jo Brand
When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was sti…
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