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Your own pain is involuntary; you feel overwhelmed and have no control. When feeling the pain of others, there is an element of discomfort, but there also is a level of stability because you are voluntarily accepting pain. It gives you a sense of confidence.
Dalai Lama
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Experiencing pain can be uncontrollable, but empathizing with others provides a choice and stability.

In this quote, the Dalai Lama emphasizes the intrinsic nature of personal pain, which is often involuntary and overwhelming. In contrast, when we empathize with the suffering of others, we have the agency to choose how we respond to that pain, which can foster a sense of confidence and stability in ourselves. This voluntary aspect of empathy transforms discomfort into a powerful connection with others.

Themes

PainEmpathyConfidenceSufferingControl

In practice

Example use cases

In a speech about mental health awareness, one might say, 'As the Dalai Lama wisely noted, our pain is involuntary, but our empathy is a source of strength.'

More from Dalai Lama

Human beings are not intrinsically selfish, which isolates us from others. We are essentially social animals who depend on others to meet our needs. We achieve happiness, prosperity and progress through social interaction. Therefore, having a kind and helpful attitude contributes to our own and others' happiness.
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Material objects give rise to physical happiness, while spiritual development gives rise to mental happiness. Since we experience both physical and mental happiness, we need both material and spiritual development. This is why, for our own good and that of society we need to balance material progress with inner development.
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All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.
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The ultimate source of a happy life is warm-heartedness. This means extending to others the kind of concern we have for ourselves. On a simple level we find that if we have a compassionate heart we naturally have more friends. And scientists today are discovering that while anger and hatred eat into our immune system, warm-heartedness and compassion are good for our health.
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My religion is kindness. _x000D_ A good mind, a good heart, _x000D_ warm feelings these are _x000D_ the most important things.
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If a person's basic state of mind is serene and calm, then it is possible for this inner peace to overwhelm a painful physical experience. On the other hand, if someone is suffering from depression, anxiety, or any form of emotional distress, then even if he or she happens to be enjoying physical comforts, he will not really be able to experience the happiness that these could bring.
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