Common sense (which, in truth, is very uncommon) is the best sense I know of: abide by it; it will counsel you best.
Lord ChesterfieldRead
For my own part, I would rather be in company with a dead man than with an absent one; for if the dead man gives me no pleasure, at least he shows me no contempt; whereas the absent one, silently indeed, but very plainly, tells me that he does not think me worth his attention.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote expresses a preference for dead companions over those who are absent, as absence implies disregard.
Lord Chesterfield's quote highlights the emotional pain of being neglected by those who choose to be absent. He suggests that even though the dead cannot provide companionship or joy, they also do not convey contempt or indifference, which makes the absence of a person far more hurtful, as it reflects an absence of value or importance placed on one's presence.
Themes
RelationshipsAbsenceContemptCompanionshipNeglect
In practice
Example use cases
During a speech about the importance of valuing friendships, one can use this quote to emphasize how absence can hurt relationships.
More from Lord Chesterfield
All quotes →Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one.
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If you can once engage people's pride, love, pity, ambition on your side, you need not fear what their reason can do against you.
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Merit and knowledge will not gain hearts, though they will secure them when gained.
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Firmness of purpose is one of the best instruments of success.
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Wit is so shining a quality that everybody admires it; most people aim at it, all people fear it, and few love it unless in themselves. A man must have a good share of wit himself to endure a great share of it in another.
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