I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at. - Norm Macdonald
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
- Norm Macdonald
If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault. - Norm Macdonald
If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault.
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. - Norm Macdonald
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity r… - Norm Macdonald
It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity r…
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation. - Norm Macdonald
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afra… - Norm Macdonald
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afra…
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love. - Norm Macdonald
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer. - Norm Macdonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him. - Norm Macdonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
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