I wasn't born a fool. It took work to get this way.

- Danny Kaye

You bet I arrived overnight. Over a few hundred nights in the Catskills, in vaudeville, in clubs and on Broadway.

- Danny Kaye

An unemployed jester is nobody's fool.

- Danny Kaye

The secret of staying fresh in a show is to remember that the audience you're playing for that night has never seen it before.

- Danny Kaye

The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!

- Danny Kaye

I feel that the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life is to be associated with UNICEF.

- Danny Kaye

The greatest natural resource that any country can have is its children.

- Danny Kaye

When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting whatever it is you've got left.

- Danny Kaye

After all is said and done, its usually the wife who has said it and the husband who has done it.

- Danny Kaye