People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly kid, always listened and obeyed."
I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park. - Larry The Cable Guy
I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.
- Larry The Cable Guy
Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck. - Larry The Cable Guy
Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.
I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license. - Larry The Cable Guy
I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling - Larry The Cable Guy
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling
I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo - Larry The Cable Guy
I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo
I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night. - Larry The Cable Guy
I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night.
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware … - Larry The Cable Guy
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware …
Remember, half the people you know are below average. - Larry The Cable Guy
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest. - Larry The Cable Guy
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
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