When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

- Will Durst

Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo say…

- Will Durst

You can't kill America. We're more than a nation. We're a notion. We're an idea. The American Dream. You never heard of the Afghanistani Dream have y…

- Will Durst

It is my experience that the best way to deal with American politics is 50 milligrams of Zoloft 3 times a day.

- Will Durst

The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American peo…

- Will Durst

Voters want a fraud they can believe in.

- Will Durst

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

- Will Durst

In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.

- Will Durst

The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

- Will Durst