In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

- Larry Goetz

People come to see the players. Nobody ever bought a ticket to see a manager.

- Larry Goetz

When I'm right, no one remembers.When I am wrong, no one forgets.

- Larry Goetz

It isn't enough for an umpire to merely know what he's doing. He has to look as though he knows what he's doing, too.

- Larry Goetz

Officiating is the only job in America that everybody knows how to do better than the guy who is doing it.

- Larry Goetz