Why do you think people close their eyes when they kiss? Think about it. In the real world, if you saw someone an-inch-and-a-half away, coming at you with their eyes open and their lips puckered, you'd scream. It's alarming.
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts. - Paul Reiser
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
- Paul Reiser
Once in a while you get a moment of clarity - an inspiration - and they don't come that frequently. - Paul Reiser
Once in a while you get a moment of clarity - an inspiration - and they don't come that frequently.
When my son said, "I can't stop thinking about girls," I said, "That's not gonna stop. Congratulations. You're in the club. From now until the day yo… - Paul Reiser
When my son said, "I can't stop thinking about girls," I said, "That's not gonna stop. Congratulations. You're in the club. From now until the day yo…
Happiness is the quiet lull between problems. - Paul Reiser
Happiness is the quiet lull between problems.
It turns out most of the conclusions that I've come to in life have equally valid contradictions. I think it's true you need to make a plan, set a go… - Paul Reiser
It turns out most of the conclusions that I've come to in life have equally valid contradictions. I think it's true you need to make a plan, set a go…
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push. - Paul Reiser
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed tog… - Paul Reiser
The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed tog…
Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption. - Paul Reiser
Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down. - Paul Reiser
I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.
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