Our Congress is the finest body of men money can buy.

- Morey Amsterdam

My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo? Why did you say 'Moo'?" The…

- Morey Amsterdam

People who live in glasshouses might as well answer the door

- Morey Amsterdam

According to the statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellow is, but I know where to find him.

- Morey Amsterdam

A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.

- Morey Amsterdam

Even the police have an unlisted number.

- Morey Amsterdam