When I was at the University of California at Berkeley, I went to some classes that must have had more than four hundred students in them. I almost a…

- Stephan Pastis

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

- Stephan Pastis

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

- Stephan Pastis

I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'g…

- Stephan Pastis

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

- Stephan Pastis

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

- Stephan Pastis

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

- Stephan Pastis

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

- Stephan Pastis

The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like…

- Stephan Pastis