I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at. - Norm Macdonald
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
- Norm Macdonald
If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault. - Norm Macdonald
If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault.
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. - Norm Macdonald
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity r… - Norm Macdonald
It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity r…
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation. - Norm Macdonald
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afra… - Norm Macdonald
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afra…
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer. - Norm Macdonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love. - Norm Macdonald
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him. - Norm Macdonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
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