Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.

Chelsea Handler's Popular Quotes

I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.

- Chelsea Handler

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being…

- Chelsea Handler

Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.

- Chelsea Handler

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun …

- Chelsea Handler

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

- Chelsea Handler

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

- Chelsea Handler

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

- Chelsea Handler

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

- Chelsea Handler

It’s true what they say about patience being a virtue; it just happens to be a virtue that I choose not to pursue.

- Chelsea Handler