The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.
I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist. - Felipe Esparza
I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.
- Felipe Esparza
I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought… - Felipe Esparza
I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought…
I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes. - Felipe Esparza
I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.
I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody. - Felipe Esparza
I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.
I gotta lose weight. I got stretch marks on my stomach and I never had a baby. So now when I take off my shirt in front of women, I tell them I was a… - Felipe Esparza
I gotta lose weight. I got stretch marks on my stomach and I never had a baby. So now when I take off my shirt in front of women, I tell them I was a…
I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I lea… - Felipe Esparza
I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I lea…
The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran. - Felipe Esparza
I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support. - Felipe Esparza
I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.
The war in Iraq is still going on. The British are helping. Mexico wants to help, but they need a ride over there. - Felipe Esparza
The war in Iraq is still going on. The British are helping. Mexico wants to help, but they need a ride over there.
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