I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it.

- D. L. Hughley

Did you ever have the police follow you for so long, that you get suspicious about your own goddamn self? Maybe I did kill them people.

- D. L. Hughley

Every group has its idiosyncrasies, but at a certain point we all are human.

- D. L. Hughley

I think politics in general are just like a popularity contest but McCain is just... old.

- D. L. Hughley

With a cigar like in life, you got to have some length, and some girth.

- D. L. Hughley

I used to always run off at the mouth and talk about people. I just didn't know that it would make a living for me.

- D. L. Hughley

They didn't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he's black. Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain't …

- D. L. Hughley

No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning. D.

- D. L. Hughley

There is always one person in the office that you want to whip their ass! If you don't know who it is, it is probably you.

- D. L. Hughley