My parents only had one argument in 45 years. It lasted 43 years.

- Cathy Ladman

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

- Cathy Ladman

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

- Cathy Ladman

I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, Did you know it's time for your annual check-up? No, but now my mailman does.

- Cathy Ladman

Marriage is like a 5,000- piece jigsaw of the sky.

- Cathy Ladman

Makeup is such a weird concept. I'll wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. 'Gee, I really don't look so good. Maybe if my eyelids were blue,…

- Cathy Ladman

Marriage is very difficult. Marriage is like a five-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.

- Cathy Ladman

I think racism is a terrible thing. I think we should all learn to hate each other on a individual basis.

- Cathy Ladman

I don't have any kids. Well, at least none I know about.

- Cathy Ladman