The president of a TV network generously agreed to take his company's aptitude test, a test required of all the personnel. He did badly. As a result he was in a sullen mood for the rest of the day. When he got home that night, his wife asked why he looked so grouchy. I took the company's aptitude test this morning. What did it show? asked the wife. It showed, boomed the executive, that such tests are idiotic. That's what it showed.
There are many things that I find attractive about a woman. Foremost to me, of course, would be a sense of humor-but that doesn't come in a bottle. - Joey Bishop
There are many things that I find attractive about a woman. Foremost to me, of course, would be a sense of humor-but that doesn't come in a bottle.
- Joey Bishop
One time we were having dinner and some guy came by and took a potato off of Frank Sinatra's plate. And Frank said, “Hey pal, are you hungry?” The gu… - Joey Bishop
One time we were having dinner and some guy came by and took a potato off of Frank Sinatra's plate. And Frank said, “Hey pal, are you hungry?” The gu…
You can cut your hair how you want, but I think you should get to where you wear it normal for the future. - Joey Bishop
You can cut your hair how you want, but I think you should get to where you wear it normal for the future.
The kick [of comedy] is to think quickly. It's a great kick. - Joey Bishop
The kick [of comedy] is to think quickly. It's a great kick.
I don't consider success doing a show for 30 years; I'm sorry. To me, you're successful when you graduate from something. I did a series, I did a tal… - Joey Bishop
I don't consider success doing a show for 30 years; I'm sorry. To me, you're successful when you graduate from something. I did a series, I did a tal…
A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you h… - Joey Bishop
A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you h…
The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots. - Joey Bishop
The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots.
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. - Joey Bishop
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.
The president of a TV network generously agreed to take his company's aptitude test, a test required of all the personnel. He did badly. As a result … - Joey Bishop
The president of a TV network generously agreed to take his company's aptitude test, a test required of all the personnel. He did badly. As a result …
Login to join the discussion
Login to join the discussion