I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

- Don Adams

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

- Don Adams

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

- Don Adams

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

- Don Adams

I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and …

- Don Adams

I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.

- Don Adams

It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it.

- Don Adams

I am very excited to be the head women's basketball coach at Beloit College, ... This is a great opportunity for me. I am looking forward to putting …

- Don Adams

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

- Don Adams