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I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

Norm MacDonald
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Norm Macdonald's Popular Quotes

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

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If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault.

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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity r…

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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.

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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afra…

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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.

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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

- Norm Macdonald
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