reason-play-golf-caddie-13-women-never-golf-ball-somewhere-trees-thicket-poison

The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.

Art Buchwald
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Art Buchwald's Popular Quotes

I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?

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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and ma…

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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.

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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

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The best things in life aren't things.

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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.

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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." Presi…

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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

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