Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun. - Andy Borowitz
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
- Andy Borowitz
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one. - Andy Borowitz
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out. - Andy Borowitz
NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel. - Andy Borowitz
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born. - Andy Borowitz
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked. - Andy Borowitz
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public. - Andy Borowitz
Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions. - Andy Borowitz
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role. - Andy Borowitz
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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