The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

- Joey Adams

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

- Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

- Joey Adams

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

- Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

- Joey Adams

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

- Joey Adams

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

- Joey Adams

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

- Joey Adams