We're heading for a gov. shutdown. This is serious. W/o the gov who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will…

- Jay Leno

Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse?

- Jay Leno

Researchers in England say tall men are more likely to have more children than short men. Here in America we call that the NBA theory.

- Jay Leno

Britney Spears told an interviewer if she weren't famous, she would be a teacher. So thank God she's famous.

- Jay Leno

U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting people to send …

- Jay Leno

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your d…

- Jay Leno

President James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

- Jay Leno

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

- Jay Leno

Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.

- Jay Leno