How Superheroes Make Money: - Spider-Man knits sweaters. - Superman screw the lids on pickle jars. - Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.

- Jim Benton

never underestimate your dumbness!!

- Jim Benton

My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.

- Jim Benton

Ant 1: So, uh, do you ever worry that your itsy little neck is just going to snap under the weight of your head? Ant 2: Stop asking me that. You ask …

- Jim Benton

I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holdi…

- Jim Benton

Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.

- Jim Benton

I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to…

- Jim Benton

Homework strongly indicates that the teachers are not doing their jobs well enough during the school day. It's not like they'll let you bring your ho…

- Jim Benton

Things Isabella Wouldn't Care About: - Titanic sinking again. - Metror striking Earth and landing directly on top of world's most innocent panda. - T…

- Jim Benton