Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.
Interpretation
The quote emphasizes the importance of pleasure in sexuality and critiques societal attitudes that neglect this aspect.
Jessica Valenti's quote highlights the missing discourse surrounding the enjoyment of sex, particularly in the context of young women's experiences. She argues that stripping pleasure from sexual encounters doesn't prevent them from occurring; instead, it leads to experiences devoid of joy and fulfillment. By bringing attention to the lack of conversation about sexual pleasure, Valenti advocates for a more open and positive dialogue that recognizes the significance of enjoyment in sexual relationships.
In practice
In a sexual health workshop, to emphasize the importance of pleasure for overall well-being.
Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.
It's not always easy being a full-time feminist - especially as a young woman - when you're constantly being told that what you do is irrelevant. I'm on the defense all the time.
Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.
When women's sexuality is imagined to be passive or "dirty," it also means that men's sexuality is automatically positioned as aggressive and right-no matter what form it takes. And when one of the conditions of masculinity, a concept that is already so fragile in men's minds, is that men dissociate from women and prove their manliness through aggression, we're encouraging a culture of violence and sexuality that's detrimental to both men and women.
Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all.
The widely held belief that the heterosexual nuclear family is best for children has long been used as a smoke screen for homophobia and as a talking point to quash marriage-equality efforts.
If you aren't gonna say exactly how and what you feel, you might as well not say anything at all.
When you are honest and open with young people, they let you in.
But I'd rather help than watch. I'd rather have a heart than a mind. I'd rather expose too much than too little. I'd rather say hello to strangers than be afraid of them. I would rather know all this about myself than have more money than I need. I'd rather have something to love than a way to impress you.
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
God forgive you, but I never can.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
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