When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a post man. Now, I understand the meaning of the term "postal." I was bored to tears. And what was funny was that the producer actually looked like a bug.
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir… - Andrew Dice Clay
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir…
- Andrew Dice Clay
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story. - Andrew Dice Clay
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by… - Andrew Dice Clay
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by…
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive… - Andrew Dice Clay
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive…
When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me. - Andrew Dice Clay
When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out! - Andrew Dice Clay
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football. - Andrew Dice Clay
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money! - Andrew Dice Clay
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with … - Andrew Dice Clay
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with …
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