When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity. - Dane Cook
Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
- Dane Cook
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day. - Dane Cook
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act. - Dane Cook
You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change. - Dane Cook
What am I supposed to say to an atheist when he sneezes, ah, when you die nothing happens. - Dane Cook
What am I supposed to say to an atheist when he sneezes, ah, when you die nothing happens.
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant. - Dane Cook
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you. - Dane Cook
When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs. - Dane Cook
Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs.
You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole. - Dane Cook
You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.
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