I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things, you can't leave the bathroom door open...you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch.
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I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it.
Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.
I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start playing both characters. I can't hear them, but I can see their mouths moving, so I'll just put words in their mouths.
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
Sad when you spend more time trying to stay alive than living.
Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.
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