… our sons must become men – such men as we hope our daughters, born and unborn, will be pleased to live among. Our sons will not grow into women. Their way is more difficult than that of our daughters, for they must move away from us, without us. Hopefully ours have what they have learned from us, and a howness to forge into their own image.
Interpretation
The quote emphasizes the unique challenges that sons face as they grow into men, highlighting the hopes parents have for their sons and daughters in their future relationships.
Audre Lorde reflects on the transition from boyhood to manhood, suggesting that while daughters will develop within the influences of family, sons must navigate the world independently. The quote underscores the importance of parenting in shaping the character of sons, with a focus on encouraging them to develop their individuality while carrying forward the lessons learned from their upbringing.
In practice
In a parenting seminar discussing the challenges of raising boys.
The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.
There is no thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.
There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt.
I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.
I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.
There's always someone asking you to underline one piece of yourself - whether it's Black, woman, mother, dyke, teacher, etc. - because that's the piece that they need to key in to. They want to dismiss everything else.
This was not my moment to be seeking romance and (as day follows night) to further complicate my already knotty life. This was my moment to look for the kind of healing and peace that can only come from solitude.
Because immigrants have always been particularly prone to repetition - it's something to do with that experience of moving from West to East or East to West or from island to island. Even when you arrive, you're still going back and forth; your children are going round and round. There's no proper term for it - original sin seems too harsh; maybe original trauma would be better.
Vladimir: Did I ever leave you? Estragon: You let me go.
And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers.
People are longing to rediscover true community. We have had enough of loneliness, independence and competition.
We need to remember that though we make our friends, God has made our neighbors – everywhere. Love should have no boundary; we should have no narrow loyalties.
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