Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.

- Bud Abbott

They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately.

- Bud Abbott

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive.

- Bud Abbott

That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.

- Bud Abbott

It gets boring at home. How many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on TV?

- Bud Abbott

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third...

- Bud Abbott

You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

- Bud Abbott