I bought me a guitar about a year ago, learned how to play in a day or so.

- Bobby Bare

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights, drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

- Bobby Bare

I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me. So for brains and good judgment, I'd give her a three.

- Bobby Bare

Songwriters are still the brightest people in any room.

- Bobby Bare

Take this rifle, kid. Gimme that guitar.

- Bobby Bare

Pour me another tequila, I'm going to put on your red satin dress. You put on my clothes.

- Bobby Bare

Your pot belly, I'd give that a 10 for size.

- Bobby Bare