The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

- Graham Norton

The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.

- Graham Norton

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

- Graham Norton

Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!

- Graham Norton

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

- Graham Norton

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

- Graham Norton

I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do.

- Graham Norton

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

- Graham Norton

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

- Graham Norton