A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the… - Elayne Boosler
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the…
- Elayne Boosler
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions. - Elayne Boosler
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,… - Elayne Boosler
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,…
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty. - Elayne Boosler
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something. - Elayne Boosler
Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike… - Elayne Boosler
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike…
Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress. - Elayne Boosler
Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born. - Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator. - Elayne Boosler
Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator.
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