When you reach a certain age, suddenly there are lots of people younger than you, which is really startling.

- Fran Lebowitz

This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.

- Fran Lebowitz

I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.

- Fran Lebowitz

If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.

- Fran Lebowitz

What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun! This is living, huh? Look! No…

- Fran Lebowitz

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

- Fran Lebowitz

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

- Fran Lebowitz

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left wit…

- Fran Lebowitz

Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.

- Fran Lebowitz