That's Al Qaeda's new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.
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I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.
I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.
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