The emperor is naked!" The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fell over the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasant shouted: "No, he isn't. T…

- James Finn Garner

Alas, if worth be based on beauty, Snow White has surpassed you, cutie.

- James Finn Garner

He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.

- James Finn Garner

The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist rema…

- James Finn Garner

The Emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!

- James Finn Garner

Goldilocks [There] lived a family of bearstogether anthropomorphically in a little cottage as a nuclear family. They were very sorry about this, of c…

- James Finn Garner