Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthan…

- Carl Hiaasen

Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

- Carl Hiaasen

My escape is to just get in a boat and disappear on the water.

- Carl Hiaasen

The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the si…

- Carl Hiaasen

No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions,…

- Carl Hiaasen

Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to …

- Carl Hiaasen

My books are character-driven. They're not driven by the story.

- Carl Hiaasen

There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block.

- Carl Hiaasen

That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and n…

- Carl Hiaasen