What a great unifier getting scared is. Not in an actual threatening, real-world way, but getting scared from horror movies or haunted houses or ghos…

- Kyle Kinane

I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I cant enjoy anything.

- Kyle Kinane

It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's deliciou…

- Kyle Kinane

Sometimes your dreams come true, and its a real drag.

- Kyle Kinane

How can you feel like an actual member of society casting a vote for a president when in a professional interview you said that farts make you laugh?…

- Kyle Kinane

I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either…

- Kyle Kinane

I am somehow allowed by the universe to do exactly what I want to do to make a living.

- Kyle Kinane

Comedy doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious and beat you over the head. It can be this really small detail that, when it computes in your brain, you…

- Kyle Kinane

The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times.

- Kyle Kinane